Musings over Packing

"Stop it. Seize the Day. Eat the table." -- Dr. Rick Tuttle

That's the quote on the back of the shirt my roommate is wearing today. I don't quite get it either, but it seems to fit the type of randomness and indecision in my life over these past two weeks.

New Kids on the Block are back together, I just found out my neighbor is the rabbi of the Hasidic temple down the street, and my bed is gone.

The day that I painted my room back to its original color is the moment it wasn't my space anymore. The soothing herbal green is now an uninteresting eggshell with no story-filled wall hangings. Cyndy's Santa Fe art purchase, my photos from Europe, and the crucifix Ritch made for me entirely from items he got while hiking up Manchu Pichu... all packed away, no longer adorning my walls, in this place that already isn't my home.

I'm a packrat. I save EVERYthing. It's just so hard to throw things away. It's not that I'm materialistic, but that I treasure so many things that people give to me. Yes, I threw away the paper airplanes made of post-its and filled with sweet messages that Moof used to throw over my cubicle wall. It was nostalgic and cathartic, but I can't hang on to every piece of paper. I'm sure all of the recycling I did last week would create enough LA Times editions for my entire neighborhood. I digress...

Perusing my belongings in the kitchen, I had to hang on to the beautiful green piece of pottery that Vicki made me, i.e. the garlic bowl. And I couldn't get rid of the rainbow coffee mug just because it was a gift from Mia. It's not a mug. It's a memory... one with a functional purpose.

I'll take the rest of my stuff to Jim's on Monday. I'm so grateful to have most of his shed to store what's left of my sentimental items, photo albums, items inherited from grandma, favorite books... and my tenor sax... and a couple of wine racks... I know, I know, but they're exactly what I wanted and so hard to find! They each hold four bottles, and are perfectly stackable, and well, nevermind... Maybe I'll get rid of those too. I can't decide...

I like to have stuff to come back to. Part of me likes the idea from starting from scratch, but ultimately, I hate shopping. It gives me more comfort to know I'll have some basic items when I return.

I'm almost done packing, and my going away gathering is tomorrow. I've been waiting for "what's next" for so many months that I'm incredibly eager for it to begin. I know I'll miss the States and my friends, and everything else I have here, but I still can't wait to go. I'm looking forward to over 2 years of new adventures, memories, growth, challenges, and new people, American and Batswana alike, who will , I'm sure, make a deep impression on my heart. become my new family. teach me and give me intangible things beyond what I could ever give in return.

In the meantime, how many pairs of shoes can I smash into my luggage...