When it all started

Lately, people ask why I want to go to Peace Corps and when I started thinking about it. I remember being bit by the travel bug when I was in France in 2002 for a study abroad program.This experience was supposed to be about learning French and living in a foreign country, but it became so much more. It was during this trip that I learned a lot about Africa, through French news, and met others in my program interested in international issues about which I was quite ignorant. The image I have of the way that summer affected me, however, is cloudy.

Out of curiosity, I went back to read my journal entries, and I was struck by what I had to say. Below is what I wrote the day I returned from France.


==September 3, 2002==

"Helping to save lives has become more important than fighting for my acceptance into society.

Simply, in other words, I'm still very passionate about queer activism, but with all of the new knowledge I have obtained this summer of worldly problems, my life is taking a new direction.

I don't think I've ever felt more scatterbrained, and yesterday, I don't think I have ever been so tired. I don't know where to begin. Internally, I feel that I have changed a lot this summer. Isolation and knowledge will do that to a person. I have greatly strengthened my spirituality, gained new perspectives, altered opinions and beliefs and set my life on a slightly different path. I feel that I have a much more worldly view, and I have truly learned what is important in this life and what is not . . . "


And this is only after a summer in France and traveling around Europe.

After reading this, I went back to read what I wrote the day I came back from Haiti after the 10-day trip with my church in 2003.


==March 31, 2003==

"Have you ever seen a man dressed in a nice suit walk out of a home built of tin and cardboard? Have you ever been welcomed with hugs, songs, dances, flowers and food by people you’ve never met? Have you ever spent time in a country where heads turn in amazement at the sight of a white person? Have you ever thought of Christopher Columbus as the same as Adolf Hitler? Have you ever stood on a mountain so high that you could watch the clouds part below you to reveal the beautiful landscape of an entire country? Have you met a people so economically poor yet untainted by material wealth that they would give you the shirt of their own back if they thought you needed it more than they did? Have you ever held a three-year-old orphan whose innocent smile never fades and put him down to discover his HIV+ blood on your hands?

I spent a week in Haiti because I wanted to learn and grow. I wanted a first-hand experience of the world as real and tangible, instead of distancing myself from it. I wanted to learn the truth about a people and their history. I wanted to be vulnerable and have my heart burst open with uninhibited compassion, pain, love and joy. This was my experience in Haiti, and my perspectives on life and the world are forever changed."


These are the two profound experiences that shaped and ingrained in me the craving I have for the Peace Corps experience. After reading these, I'm even more thrilled about the way Botswana will affect me, and about the journey on which my soul is soon to embark.